What a strange cruising season. We’ve had President without Kildare and now due to the split boiler tube we were to have Kildare without President, instead towed by Stour, an ex Clayton tar-boat, powered by a Bollinder semi-diesel. Like President she is owned by BCLM and maintained and operated by a group of enthusiasts/nutters.

The Parkhead Boat Gathering is a biennial event held in a natural bowl between the top of the three Parkhead locks and the southern portal of Dudley tunnel. We did consider stripping the planks and cloths to clear the gauge and simply legging through the tunnel, a matter of yards from the museum, but not for long. For a start the crud from the roof would have ruined Kildare’s new stainless steel galley/operating theatre.

After various fettlings we left BCLM at 12.45 (without fish and chips – such will-power).

Netherton tunnel gave a short respite from heavy rain and amplified the Bollinder’s exhaust note; quite a harsh bark compared to the hollow burble I remembered from Harry H. Corbett’s film “The Bargee”. The non-firing strokes produced a fascinating unpredictable rhythm; now cha cha cha, now bossa nova, now Bedlam. Bollinders are wonderfully evocative on someone else’s boat, I just couldn’t live with one full-time. Dave Newell gave a good tow, using a 30’ line, shortened as circumstances dictated. This gives the butty steerer much more autonomy than cross-straps; and responsibility – scope for hitting bridges with either end or even going the wrong side of toll islands. Fortunately we didn’t embarrass ourselves and arrived on site at 5.00 without incident.

“Look at those lunatics.” A broad-gauge GWR viaduct crosses the canal and its two branches ( Grazebrook and Pensnett) and some figures were dangling from the top. Closer inspection showed them to be official; in full abseiling gear fixing a welcome banner to the masonry. This viaduct is slated to carry a new Midland Metro line and will need to be virtually rebuilt, at a cost of some £15m.

Parkhead is a real Black Country get-together. Apart from all the working boats, other boats and radio-controlled model boats (local RNLI), there were vintage motor-cycles, lorries and cars, a no-expense-spared restored 1929 Fowler steam roller (complete with rubbered treads) on its first outing, and a line of stalls selling all sorts - some of it even canal related. I don’t know if Josh Powell is old enough to be a stall-holder, but he did a sterling job selling raffle tickets and stock from our gazebo. An enterprising lady was doing a roaring trade, in period dress with baby in pram, selling fresh pork scratchings in brown paper bags from a wicker basket.

Some of our number entered the “boatmen’s games”; walking the plank/gunwhale, throwing ropes, lock-wheeling with an old bicycle. Tailor-made for President’s men; how magnanimous to let the Sea Scouts win.

Other boys’ toys included a collection of stationary engines with lighting-sets and water-pumps, wafting the wonderful aroma of Castrol R (memories of ‘60’s motorcycling), a large 3 cylinder Gardner 2-stroke boat engine in the back of a truck, and a tank engine (sans tank) on a trailer. This beast is a supercharged 12 cylinder 2 stroke (British!) multifuel; it will run on anything that can be persuaded to vaporise. It also has 18” stub exhausts. What it doesn’t have is silencers. At advertised times it was fired-up and run up to speed; at 10 feet the noise was physically painful, even louder than the Who live at Leeds.

There was more melodic noise too, live music in the Beer Tent ( with a totally over-the-top mixing desk) and the BCN Society ran a BBQ.

Sunday morning dawned with a thunderstorm reverberating around the site. Undaunted, we took breakfast under the gazebo and coaxed-out the sun. By 9.30 steam was rising from the boat cloths, and we spent the morning cleaning and clearing and saying our goodbyes; to boaters and stall-holders, to the Irish Wolfhound Rescue lady and her three huge beasts, and the crew of the GWR day-boat from BCLM which had been demonstrating horse-boating skills up and down the locks all week-end. We were borrowing their horse to haul Kildare down the locks and at 12.30 we waited in top lock for “Prince” who was kept out of the way while the tank-engine did its stuff. “Prince” is rather large for a boat-horse but this gentle giant deftly picked his way down the slopes and through the crowds to deliver us to Blower’s Green junction. Stour followed, picked up the tow, and took us home.

Many thanks to Dave Newell and the crew of Stour, and to the organisers of the Gathering. I’m already looking forward to the next one in 2008. Highly recommended.

Roger Prior.