Day One 13th Aug

In steam at Tardebigge for Rolt / Aickman 60th anniversary celebrations. Fire was lit at 8.00 am as ‘President’ was only to be in light steam for morning as ‘Kildare’ was the star of the show pretending to be a horse drawn boat. By 10 the rain had started in earnest and we quickly grew tired of hauling ‘Kildare’ into and out of the lock repeatedly as each time we set up the scene another boat appeared wanting to use the lock! Eventually the party from Bromsgrove arrived and pleasantries were exchanged and pictures taken. We then shifted ‘Kildare’ again, and went and hid from the rain for a couple of hours before leading the parade of boats through Tardebigge tunnel up to the winding hole where yours truly ensconced on the front of ‘President’ found himself entombed in the arms of a very large and very wet tree. This tree had two trunks, the gap between which Presidents bow had become embedded, requiring much heaving on shafts much vociferous language and a snatch from ‘Bittell’, the BCN tug. Eventually ‘President’ was winded and an uneventful return was made to Tardebigge, where the boat was once again winded for tomorrow’s eventual departure. The evening was spent in convivial repast down at Tylers lock.

Day two. 14th August.

Once again a latish start for a Pressy day as we weren’t leaving until 12.00, again leading the parade through the tunnel, but this time continuing on to Birmingham.

Today however the sun was shining and we set off in fine style along the Worcester and Birmingham, and Roy Falder was steering Kildare. I was unbunging the bilge pump on ‘Kildare’ and discovered that the impellor had a lump missing from it, a call was made at Alvechurch to see if they could supply said impellor and happily they found not one but two, so we went on our way with a functioning bilge pump again.

Approaching Wasthill tunnel, [horrible place] Simon relinquished the steering to me muttering something about spiders and disappeared. He need not have worried for we must have incinerated them two weeks previously, as there were very few in the tunnel.

Steady progress was made only getting stuck briefly at the two narrows under the railway.

A brief delay behind the trip boat through Edgbaston then arrived at the mailbox to an appreciative crowd of onlookers – fortunately we went round in fine style and eventually tied up at the top of Farmers Bridge to make welcome use of the sanitary station facilities.

Readers of last year’s report of Shackerstone will remember that this is the sanitary station that exploded – not to be outdone this year, whilst taking a shower, the shower water went everywhere but down the drain soaking everyone’s clothes into the bargain! After a pizza on the town some ale was forced down at the Tap and Spile.

Day three . 15th August.

Day three had the makings of a bit of a marathon day and as it turned out the makings were made! Bob had been suffering with toothache for a few days and had made an appointment to get it sorted, as a result I was in the ole with Simon steering ‘President’ and Roy steering ‘Kildare’ as Bob left us part way back to the museum. Skeleton crewing or what?

We left Farmers Bridge around seven, intending on getting back to the BCLM by lunchtime. All went well passing up the Smethick three onto the old main but we got quite badly stuck just before Summit tunnel and had to resort to splitting the boats for quite a distance and bow haul ‘Kildare’ which Bob gallantly did before departing to his appointment. Despite the delay we arrived at the BCLM before fish’n chip closing time and in time honoured fashion our captain bought the fish and chips.

The next exercise was to load four tons of coal for the trip to and from the national.

There was only one small problem – the coal was nowhere to be found. A couple of calls revealed that it was at the top gate and the JCB man had either gone home or was sick and couldn’t deliver the coal to the wharf. However, help was at hand and Hamish arranged for several loads of coal to be brought down using the little Shetland pony and a very disreputable truck which was on the point of collapse the entire time.

We got about a ton down by this method and then Simon and Roy went up and transferred the rest into the museum van and brought it down once the museum had closed. Bob had by now returned pain free and we eventually got all the coal on board. However it is bloody hard work when there is insufficient crew, by seven pm Pat and Brian had arrived loaded with shopping, after this was transferred we moved the boats onto the arm ready for an early start tomorrow, then we went to the Bostin Fittle for our tea and as a perfect end to a perfect day, the pub was shut so we ended up in Pizza hut.

Day four. 16th August

(Day 1 of trip to Preston Brook) The day dawned bright and shiny and a smart seven am start was made from the museum. After an uneventful run to the top of the Wolverhampton 21, we arrived at nine forty five am collecting Rodger our final crew member, then the work began with Simon, Bob and Brian on ‘President’ together with Tony Tibbins who had kindly turned up to assist with the locks leaving myself, Rodger and Pat on ‘Kildare’, we went down the 21 without incident or delay, just knackered! Turned onto Staffs and Worcester and a mile later turned onto the Shroppy at Autherley junction which yours truly cocked up quite spectacularly. Once through the stop lock we set off in fine style for the afternoon cruise tentatively aiming for the Anchor at High Offley. Fairly slow progress up the Shroppy due to a combination off too many moored boats and shallow canal, though at no time did we get stuck, eventually arriving at Norbury junction at 8.00 pm and a unanimous decision was made to stop here mainly because Pat said tea was ready. We were met by Susie Empsall and Dave Stott who brought needed oil. Tea was served al fresco on the hireboat moorings and we then retired to the pub where the anoraks amongst us spent the entire evening discussing lubrication problems, the rest of the crew spent the entire evening poking fun at the anoraks, no names divulged, but they know who they are!

Day five 17th August;

A reasonably early start today as we had to vacate the boat yard by 7.30am. Whilst floating serenely through Grub Street cutting, ‘Kildare’ decided to stick herself to the bank, and made a valiant attempt to unship her rudder, it’s no fun holding that rudder upright with the top bearing out! Simon came to the rescue however with a long shaft and shoved ‘Kildare’ back out. Shortly after this we found that Kildares T stud had once again come loose so I decided to attempt repairs at Market Drayton which was reached in time for lunch. As it was a nice day lunch was had al fresco and during an extended stop, Simon went to the shops and I went to the boat yard to find a big washer, Simon returned with the shopping, I returned empty handed, but managed to fix it anyway. The afternoons cruise led us into lock country with 20 locks to do before the overnight stop at Audlem. Easy-peasy says I, Shroppy locks are a doddle! Done em loadsa times on me own, well with ‘President’ they’re not! She gets stuck on scours at the tail of each lock, and is an absolute pain to shift, an anticipated 7.00pm tie up turned into a frantic dash for the pub in all our muck at 9.30, three very dirty people each ordering 8 pints of Timothy Taylors (some 24 pints ordered in thirty seconds) from the Shroppie Fly raised a few eyebrows to say the least, but the staff treated us royally in providing us with some excellent food.

Day six. 18th August.

A rather disreputable looking crew set off for Nantwich at about 8.00am and an uneventful run brought us to the sanitary station by 12.00 for a fill up and empty out routine. It was at this point that Simon, our esteemed captain, banished me to the bathroom under instruction not to return until I resembled a human being and not a shambling ruin! Sometime later I emerged to find us rounding the junction at Barbridge onto the Middlewich Arm which we did in fine style, only to be brought up short at the first lock with an estimated four hour queue of some 19 boats in front of us. Bob went to buy some bits for the bilge pump while the rest of us cleaned and polished for 3 hours rather than four! This effectively put paid to us reaching Middlewich tonight and we decided to go on as far as we could until we either ran out of steam, sank, or had a mutiny, or it got dark! Fortunately it was the latter that stopped us just on the outskirts of Middlewich .

Day seven. 19th August.

Today is the great day when ‘President’ and ‘Kildare’ ride the restored boat lift at Anderton down to the River Weaver and ‘President’ returns to the point where it all began. We had a lift booking at 2.00pm and we had some six locks and 12 miles to do to get there so no hanging about today, in fact we were underway by 6.30am despite which there were still queues at the locks. A brief stop for breakfast was taken at the bottom of the Big Lock and then full steam ahead for Anderton. Fortunately this pound though very twisty is nice and deep and cracking progress was made with us arriving at Anderton just before 1.00pm. After being on show for an hour we made our descent of the lift with much interest in the boats being shown. Leaving the lift for Northwich we made a splendid full power turn on the river temporarily covering the chemical works with dense smoke. We then proceeded up to Hunts lock before turning and making our way to the Floatell just a few yards from where ‘President’ was originally rescued. This was to be our home for the next four days whilst crew changes and press calls were made.

Day eight. 20th August.

No activity on the boat today just house keeping duties by myself and Bob, transport and local knowledge kindly provided by Bob Jervis. Curry for tea, plus the obligatory beer of course.

Day nine. 21st August.

A working party, several odd jobs done the main one being fitting an automatic bilge pump to ‘Kildare’ also the next crew began to arrive in dribs and drabs, in the form of George, guests of the hotel in the evening.

Day ten. 22nd August.

Pressy back in steam today, hurrah! A corporate sort of a day, in which Malcolm Braine was presented with a copy of Dusty Millers print by Ian Walden (currently for sale- buy one, its excellent) as was the manager of the hotel for their excellent hospitality. The hotel staff and Malcolm were taken for a short cruise to Hunts lock and back. Once again the crew were guests of the hotel in the evening. Just as the meal was finishing our resident stowaway arrived.

Day eleven 23rd August.

The arrival of our stowaway last night has prompted me to explain the second title of this discourse, i.e., the Empsall Dash. This is not as one may possibly believe a method of lock working, but a necessary skill in the art of tea brewing for Pat and Brian. This has to be organized well in advance of brewing the tea. Briefly the method of brewing is as follows;

Set out in a straight line two cups, teapot with lid off, teapot lid alongside, space for kettle full of water.

Boil water on stove. Whilst boiling, pour water into teapot, put kettle down in space provided.

Lift teapot ( DO NOT stop to put lid on teapot-this will result in failure ) Dash down to cups and immediately pour out tea—if colour exceeds pale yellow then more practice is required

Now about boating. Today was our day for messing about on the river, and it was planned to go as far down stream as possible until lock closure time made it necessary to turn and head for our mooring at Acton Bridge in plenty of time for a celebratory meal at the Leigh Arms where Eddy Oades and Linda, together with Tim Coughlin, joined us for the festivities, and tomorrows trip back up the lift. In the end we made it down to Weston Marsh Lock and a wonderful day’s cruising was had including giving ‘President’ her head and going water ski-ing for several minutes- I don’t think much could have caught us! The meal was a great success and the group of eleven was made most welcome.

Day twelve 24th August.

Despite the red wine last night, we were up and raring to go by 8.00am, Unfortunately, the engine room crew was unable to light the fire at the specified time as they were unable to locate any fire lighting equipment! Despite this setback we were able to go by 8.45 (am) We planned on getting to the lift by 10.30am and being on display at the bottom for a couple of hours before ascending at one pm. Despite poor weather a good number of people showed an interest in the boats and as it was Dave Stott’s 65th birthday an impromptu party was held in Kildare, after he made a visit to the engine, which was wrapped in garlands especially for him, where he received his present of a burned out fire bar painted and wrapped as a memento of his trip to Worcester!

1.00pm came and we regally entered the lift watched by a considerable crowd of people and several hundred on line watching the lift web cam. We then headed north along the Trent and Mersey negotiating Barnton and Saltersford tunnels were BW were policing boat traffic through, so the only thing to worry about was the Wier pump—more later, and moored up at Acton Bridge again, some two hundred yards from where we set off in the morning. We decided to try the Holly Bush at the top of the lane for tea, but it was full and we eventually ended up in the Leigh Arms again. Full circle!

Day thirteen 25th August

The day dawned to a beautiful still morning with Pressy’s smoke rising vertically into the morning air (crew had matches today) and all was peaceful and quiet, until the crew got up! The northern section of the T and M is quite river like in places interspersed with some sharp corners where we ran aground a couple of times, despite our stowaway popping out of the engine ‘ole and helpfully pointing out the impending corner! However Pressy got her own back on the upstart crew, one minute all were serenely cruising, the next all hell broke loose as the safety valve lifted, boiler primed, injector refused to pick up, and both clack valves stuck in the open position filling the entire engine ‘ole with large quantities of very hot and very wet steam! Afore said stowaway hanging onto the regulator stood wondering which door to jump ship through. Happily order was quickly restored despite Pressy having run aground.

Arriving at Preston brook tunnel, Richard Thomas appeared with the sale stand and sundry boxes to load onto ‘President’ for transport to the festival site. Time to enter the tunnel and the Wier pump promptly stopped, and would only run with much cajoling and cursing, and then only intermittently right through the tunnel. Once through however, it ran fine. In fact this passage through has given rise to Pressy’s version of the Masonic handshake-initiates to the engine hole will learn it as part of their induction! Once through the tunnel we turned onto the Runcorn arm of the Bridgewater-deep water! -and cruised to the end before turning and enjoying lunch in remarkably sylvan surroundings. A gentle cruise back to our festival moorings took place-it had to be gentle as our virgin captain was perched on the front of ‘Kildare’ and had fallen fast asleep!

Once the boats were moored for the weekend we gave assistance to Richard in setting up the sale stand. Tea was had on board and as the beer tent wasn’t open we had to make our own entertainment and, dear readers, I shall draw a veil over the results of some three and a half boxes of red wine!...

As far as the tale of two lifts goes, well, Tardebigge Top lock used to be a boat lift before conversion to the deepest narrow lock in the country. Happy boating.

Dave Speer